#what if coco was dark and evil and twisted and FUCKED UP

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Can't Go Back

Epilogue for Sweet Treats AU: by character | chronological | epilogues

Warnings: these drabbles will include dark elements such as noncon, control, intimidation, and other stuff that may not be specified. Take this as you chance to scroll by.

Note: yall wanted this man.

Please let me know what you think <3

🍑🍑🍑

Lloyd drags you away from the wall, his hand latched around a clump of your hair. Your temples pound and your ears ring. How could this happen? No, how could you do this?

Candy's right. You said too much. It's all your fault again. You didn't want to believe Lloyd was bad but you should've. Just like Steve. What is it they say about when people show you their true selves?

You kick out as you try to stop him. Coco hollers from the next room and your heart leaps into your throat. No, no, they can't hurt her. Not because of you. You close your eyes and sob. You see the blood that stained Candy's jacket and her drawn face.

"Let me go!" You whine and writhe as you claw at Lloyd's hand, "please, please, don't let them hurt my friends. Lloyd," you twist around despite the tension at your roots, "Lloyd, please, I thought... I thought you liked me."

"Now, sweet cheeks, I do," he taunts as he swings you away from him. You hit the wall and collapse to your knees. "I like the way your pussy squeezes me like it's never gonna let go."

"Please," you croak as you look up at him, cheeks hot and wet, "please, you can keep me. But my friends, they don't deserve this--"

"What? They don't deserve what, sunshine? That knife you stabbed between their ribs?"

"No, no, I didn't mean to," you crawl to him, "please, I'll do anything. I just... they saved me, Lloyd, they saved me. Let me save them."

He kicks you away from his boots and snorts, "too late for all that, Birdy. Shoulda thought about this before you came to suck my dick goodbye."

"Lloyd," you gulp as the ice in his voice flows into your veins, "you can't... I didn't..."

"Hell, if I played you a little longer, I may have convinced you to actually help me out, huh, baby girl? You wanna be loved so bad, you'd sell more than just your holes, wouldn't you?"

"Stop, stop," you cover your ears as you shake your head, "STOPPPPP!"

You shriek and it erupts from you uncontrollably. You can't take it. You're pathetic. You've let down the only people who ever showed you love. You fucked everything up and why? Because you're stupid and desperate, just like he says.

"Aw, baby, come on, don't be so sad. My associates are gonna treat your friends just as nice as I treated you," he bends down to touch your arm and you bat him away, "hmmm, sweet little ladies like you need someone to take care of them. Well, someone who can keep you in line. It's too bad about those morons down in New York."

"What? Steve...?" You sputter and hear Candy grunt from the next room. You look over but Lloyd catches your chin and makes you face him. He pulls you close as there's a clatter in the next room amid a murmur of grunts and groans.

"That's the one, doll face. So what was it? Did the serum not work on the cap's star spangled dangle?"

"N-n-noooo," you squirm and latch onto his wrist, "stop. Stop."

"Stop what, baby? You're acting like you weren't begging for it. Come on, let's have some fun."

"I don't... I don't want you. You're mean," you sniffle and shove against his shoulder, "you're....you're... you're evil!"

"And you fell for it. I'd rather be the big bad than some dimwitted slut," he lets you go, pushing you onto your back before he stands. He rolls his head on his neck and squares his shoulders as he paces a circle around you, "it's always a bit more fun when they fight."

You glare at him. Down there, on your knees, weak, beneath him. As low as low can be. You deserve this. You deserve to suffer.

You watch him unbuckle his belt. He snickers as he comes closer, mocking you as he gropes the front of his pants. He pokes his tongue out lewdly and you sink down into your pit.

A shell of numbness encases you. You hear Candy snarling and Coco thrashing from either side of you. You're not like them, you're not a fighter.

You dragged them into this. Your only friends. How they must hate you. You hope they do. You hope they hate you as much your despise yourself.

[langdons-rep]

Playthings - Part Four (Michael Langdon x Dark!Witch reader x Duncan Shepherd)

Pt.1 | Pt. 2 | Pt.3

Plot: you and Michael arrive at Outpost 3 and have the pleasure of getting to know the infamous Duncan Shepherd. 

Warnings: angst, mention of smut

-

The following morning, Duncan wakes up earlier than usual. Not that he slept much, your words haunting his mind and making him stay awake until he had to force himself to rest.

Still in bed, he sits up leaning on the headboard, exhaling a long breath. He licks his dry lips as images of the night before dance through his brain, making him close his eyes shut as if the gesture alone could erase you out of his thoughts.

Of course, right after you told him about how he should meet Langdon, you stepped away from his body, making him long for more. You haven’t really explained your proposal, only demanded him to leave right after. And so he left, embarassed, scared but more than anything, so damn fucking hard.

And for the second time, he had to take care of it alone.

Duncan blames it on the 18 months touch starved situation: it’s been so long since he got laid that his primordial instincts are taking over him, and all because of a pretty girl. He tells himself that, but deep down, he knows that’s not true. There’s something about you…something so beautifully twisted that he can’t get enough of it. You aren’t just pretty, you are absolutely appealing. With your elegant moves, your delicate skin, your enticing lips and your mouthwatering legs that he wanted more than anything to spread apart…

He can’t help but wonder how someone that looks so much like an angel could be so evil, him having experienced first-hand just how cruel you can be; and he now knows that your beautiful body holds powers within. So what are you, some kind of witch? Do they actually exist? He asks himself.

One thing is certain, you are no good. He knows that he should probably stay away from you but he also realizes that he’s never been so attracted to anyone before.

He wonders if Langdon feels the same for you.

Langdon…

Duncan has absolutely no clue on the reason why you want him to meet the blond haired man, but the thought alone makes him shiver. He can’t imagine what goes on through that wicked mind of yours, so why would you actually come up with such a thing? The brunette can’t help but think that you and Langdon probably plan on killing him, since his chances of getting to the Sanctuary, if there’s actually one, are gone in one great crash anyway.

He grunts, wishing, no —praying— to have at least one peaceful day.

-

“Do you know him?” Michael asks you with his arms crossed once you both enter his office.

That morning Ms. Venable called you both for an emergency meeting, scolding you for breaking her most important rule while also informing you on the one who reported your little rendez-vous, Duncan Shepherd. Michael didn’t miss the way you would bite your lip or grin everytime the woman would bring him up in the conversation.

“Know who?” You reply, sitting on the edge of his bed; your arms stretch backwards on the soft satin covers as you look up at him.

He rolls his eyes.

“This Duncan Shepherd.”

You lick your lips before answering.

“I was the one assigned to do his interview.”

He furrows his brows, looking you up and down.

“So you know him.”

“Barely.“

He comes closer to your body until he’s standing in front of you, making you lift your gaze up to meet his irritated one.

“Tell a grey to get him here. I want to meet him.” He says while rudely grabbing your chin.

“That’s funny. He came into my office yesterday and I told him about how you two should meet.” You explain smirking.

His hand leaves your chin to grip your throat instead.

“Why did he come into your office? And why do you think I should meet him?” He asks with a low tone, jealousy evident in his voice as he comes to the realization that this man had been into your room more than once.

“He came to tell me that he heard us having sex and that he later communicated everything to Venable.” You calmly explain, ignoring his second question.

He kneels in front of you as his grip tightens around your throat.

“So you already knew.” His voice barely a whisper as his eyes are blurred with fury.

You lightly nod.

“And why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” He asks with a demonic tone, his face mere centimeters away from your own.

“I was waiting for the right moment to tell you everything.”

“Tell me what?”

You bite your bottom lip as you can’t help the urge to grin.

“I think...we should have a little fun with him.” You tell him, letting your lips brush against his plump ones.

His confused yet enraged gaze switches from your mouth to your eyes, “what the fuck do you mean?”

You give him a peck on his lips, then another one on his cheek.

“I think you know what I mean.” You whisper to his ear. That’s when Michael decides to read your mind and all seems clear to him now.

“You want us to have a fucking threesome with him?” He furiously questions, his hand now gripping your hair to make you face him again.

“Why not? I think you’ll like him.”

“Why would you even think about it? Am I not enough to you?” He rambles and you can see the hurt in his eyes.

You instantly feel bad seeing your favorite person like this, making your smirk fade almost instantly.

“It’s not like that. You are more than enough to me.” You sweetly explain while holding his face; you kiss his nose before continuing.

“You are always so good to me. Don’t you ever think otherwise. This thing...this thing is not about my pleasure only, it’s about your own too. Our lives have been so dull recently, we always do the same things. I’m just bored.“  You keep elaborating, letting him know how frustrated you’ve been feeling up to now. You know he feels like this too, you’ve talked about that. Travelling from one place to another and killing every last human on earth can get pretty exasperating sometimes. You remember telling him that his company was the only thing that kept you from going insane and Michael saying it was the same for him. It’s always been you and him only, so why change things up now? He can’t understand it.

Michael quickly stands up, still looking at you with a wrathful gaze.

“What makes you think that I would agree to this?”

You emulate his movement, getting up from the mattress.

“I know you better than anyone else, honey. I just know you’d find him...interesting.”

You tell him with a warm smile as your right hand rests on his cheek, your thumb lightly stroking his porcelain skin; something you’d always do to calm him down.

His features soften a little at the act, but he’s still angry, and you know it.

“Since you asked for it, I’ll bring him here, and you’ll be able to understand what I’m talking about.”

“I’ll give him a minute only.” He points out, and you smile. You grab his face again to press a long kiss on his lips, Michael instantly gripping your waist to pull you closer. It’s in moments like this that he realizes you are his Achille’s heel.

You give him one last peck before exiting the room; you think of calling a grey to summon Duncan but then you realize it’s going to be more fun if you just do it yourself.

You walk downstairs, going straight to the library, hoping to find him there.

As you enter the dimly lit room, the survivors immediately stop their talking, turning their heads to where you’re standing.

They all watch you intently, waiting for you to do something, even allowing them to continue their conversation. You can smell their fear, and it’s fucking intoxicating.

You smile, loving the effect you have on people; then your gaze fixes on the one you are searching for, Duncan Shepherd.

You make sure to click your heels on the wooden floor as you go up to him; all eyes settled on you.

“Langdon and I have requested to see you.” You inform Duncan, earning a brow-furrowed expression from him.

“Is this about the Sanctuary? Did he get in?” Coco chips in, making you and Duncan look at the blonde woman sitting right next to him.

You chuckle at her question.

“This does not concern you, Ms. Vanderbilt.”

Again, you glance at the brunette sitting in front of you and he silently stands up.

You turn around and start to walk out of the room, Duncan following you behind.

“Where are we going?” He inquires once you two enter the hallway, just a few steps away from Michael’s door.

“To Langdon’s office.” You reply nonchalantly as you turn your head back to watch him for a brief second.

He sighs, nervously looking around him, hoping that someone would come out of nowhere to save him from whatever situation he was about to get into.

You arrive in front of Michael’s door with Duncan right beside you. He watches you as the door opens immediately with a twist of your fingers, making his eyes widen with shock.

You enter Michael’s room once again, and you notice how your beloved Antichrist is now sitting at his desk; legs crossed, hands clasped on his lap, and a raging yet impatient gaze plastered on his face. You smile up at him, but he doesn’t return the gesture. You spin around as soon as you hear Duncan’s footsteps on the floor, finally stepping in.

You see his gaze focusing on you, then switching on Michael. You face your blond friend to check his reaction and you notice how he’s completely devouring the brunette’s physical appearance; eyes looking up and down his body, until they stop on his face. You grin at Michael’s appreciating gazes as Duncan lowers his eyes, clearly intimidated by the whole situation.

You decide to break the ice.

“He’s the notorious Duncan Shepherd.”

You tell Michael, even though he already knows. Duncan lifts up his gaze to look at you, brows furrowed in confusion at the way you labeled him.

“Clearly.” Michael comments standing up from his seat, walking towards the rich man.

The brunette shifts in his feet as he watches Michael approaching him, noticing how the hint of a smile is growing on his face.

“So? What do you think?” You ask him impatiently.

The blond’s gaze focuses on you back again, returning to his previous stern state. He doesn’t answer your question and you roll your eyes at his childish behaviour.

You don’t know what Michael is more jealous of: Duncan wanting you and not him or the fact that you reciprocate his sexual desires. Probably the second option; he wouldn’t stand the thought of you being with someone else.

“What the fuck am I doing here?” Duncan eventually asks, his voice louder than he intended it to be.

Michael refuses to answer him too, only sends him a death glare; he silently turns around, going to his seat again as you stay in your place.

“Are you satisfied with yourself, Mr. Shepherd?” The Antichrist asks, making Duncan look at him with a lost stare.

“Do you feel better now that you snitched on us?” He continues; you listen carefully as you don’t know where this conversation is leading to.

“I actually do.” The brunette replies, a sudden boost of confidence taking over him.

You roll your eyes as you shake your head in disapproval; you can tell Michael’s taken aback by Duncan’s abrupt boldness.

“Why?” The blond asks, leaning his elbows on the desk.

Duncan seems to think about it before replying.

“Because your girlfriend, or whatever she is, has been nothing but a brat to me in the past few days. I wanted to have a little revenge.” He admits, not giving a fuck anymore.

“You men are all the same. As soon as a woman is not willing to get on her knees for you, you feel threatened by her and of course you have to do something about it. Pathetic.” You spit out, fully facing Duncan now.

“I think you’d be more than willing to get on your knees for me.” He confidently speaks, thinking about how absolutely hot you look when you’re this mad.

“Maybe in your fucking dreams.” You reply while crossing your arms. You and Michael both know that’s a lie, but you just can’t let Duncan Shepherd have the last word about it.

The Antichrist watches you two bicker without professing a word, until he decides he’s had enough.

“Mr. Shepherd, if you’d like to excuse us.”

The brunette doesn’t say anything, only nods and then leaves the room, avoiding your intense gaze.

“You like him.” You state matter-of-factly as soon as Duncan is out of your sight.

Michael approaches you, the usual stoical expression still very present on his face.

“You like him too.” He replies while gripping your hips and making your body press against his own.

“How should that make me feel?” He continues, his hands quickly hiking up your dress until it rests around your waist.

You don’t answer as you feel him kneading your ass, a throaty moan escapes your lips.

“Hm?” He asks right before giving you a light spank, making you gasp.

“Why are you fighting my idea? We both want him.” You tell him as your arms embrace his neck, pulling him even closer.

“That still doesn’t mean that I’d agree to do a fucking threesome.” Michael angrily spits out, smacking your ass again.

“But why?” You manage to blurt out through weak breaths.

“You are mine. I don’t care how much that man attracts us both, I’m never going to share you.” He presses you against the door, his palms leaving your ass to pin your hands above your head.

“I should be fucking mad at you right now.” Michael says as his head dips down into your neck, leaving sloppy kisses on your soft skin.

“You are.” You puff out, bucking your hips into his own.

“I am.” He confirms, biting hard on your shoulder.

“But I still wanna fuck you till your sweet cunt is dripping with my cum, and my cum only.” He says while facing you again, his tongue sensually licking your bottom lip. You shake your head as you fight the urge to slap him.

“You are so fucking selfish.” You comment as you get away from his body and push your dress down.

“Oh, I’m the selfish one here?” He questions sarcastically while grabbing your arm.

“Yes. I saw the way you look at him, I know you can’t wait to suck him off. Yet I’m a bitch for proposing something we both want.” You speak the truth on his face, freeing yourself from his grasp once again.

“Do you fucking realize how risky is it? Our whole plan could go awry if he finds out who we are and why we’re here. But of course you don’t care, do you? All you care about right now is bouncing on his dick.” He spits out, disgust spilling from every word he says.

“I know he looks stupid but he’s smarter than I thought. He knows we’re not here to save them all, and he also knows that I have powers. I used them on him.” You confess as you watch him getting even more furious.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” He asks through gritted teeth, his eyes turning black just for a moment but it’s enough to scare you. You’ve never seen him so angry.

“How can you be so fucking stupid?” He continues, gripping your throat with a strenght you’ve never experienced from him before. You hold his wrist in your palms, using your magic to get out of his almost deadly capture.

“Fuck off, Michael.” You fanatically say as you push him away. You turn around and proceed to get out of his office when he decides to speak again.

“Where the fuck are you going?” He indignantly yells.

You don’t answer him, only storm out of his room. You casually bump into a grey and that’s when you decide that you are going to make Michael fucking regret for treating you like that and refusing your idea. You look at the poor soul up and down as the servant watches you with trembling lips.

“Tell Duncan Shepherd to come into my office, right now.”

Tags: @ritualmichael @queencocoakimmie @sammythankyou @langdonsdemon @langdonscody @lovelykhaleesiii

[sweetlangdon]

From Eden: Chapter 1

Notes: Evil Power Couple fic. It’s difficult to write a summary for this one, because I don’t want to give away the twists. (It’ll also include canon rewrite/divergence for the later half of the season.) It has plenty of angst and fluff, and a bit of character study.

Warnings: swearing, lots of murder, blood... 

The rest of this fic can be found on my masterlist and AO3. It’s currently in progress.

She was in the library, alone, when she heard his footsteps.

She knew it was him. It couldn’t be anyone else but him. He’d been here for little more than a day, but the hypnotic, precise cadence of his boots against the polished floors was unmistakable. Eighteen months of relative solitude, never knowing whether it was day or night—not that it mattered much anymore now that the Earth had become a ruined wasteland—had given her plenty of time to parse the sounds of Outpost 3. The whisper of the Grays, floating along balconies and down the narrow, sleek corridors like apparitions. The insistent tap of Ms. Venable’s cane as if it were a ticking clock, a warning, a threat. Ms. Mead’s practiced rhythm, heavy and quick, past their doors like some nocturnal predator on the hunt for a kill.

The other Purples were shuffling steps and clinking glasses, a crescendo of voices that echoed across the labyrinth of their underground shelter. They were all energy and rage with nowhere to run, so it slipped out into the quiet halls and rooms, an explosion of frayed nerves and short tempers.

Eighteen months had been a lifetime. It didn’t feel like surviving. It felt like a prison sentence, a slow and endless march on cracked glass wondering when it would break and where they would fall. That same restless anger had burned in her veins, too. Those nights where she lay awake listening to the crackle of the fire until it finally lulled her to sleep. Days when she couldn’t summon enough willpower to do anything but lock the door to her suite and cry until her chest ached. She found that it was easier to keep quiet, to bury the pain somewhere else when she wasn’t alone. Obey the rules, however ridiculous they were. Remain invisible and non-threatening.  

She’d been used to not drawing attention. She could’ve been a Gray, she thought, if fate were different. But she didn’t really know a damn thing about fate; nothing seemed to make sense anymore, so did it matter? Her parents had immediately pooled their funds, no questions asked. One hundred million dollars, she’d find out after the fact. She didn’t even know they’d had that much. And she didn’t have time to consider what it all meant, didn’t particularly give a fuck about being a part of the elite—she felt more like an imposter. Some outsider with enough luck to be born to parents who built their wealth, however meager it had been compared to the others, from the ground up.

The bare minimum of social interaction had gotten her this far at least. Amiable conversations traded across the table while they choked down their tasteless meal. A hushed exchange of words in a shadowed corridor with a passing Gray. Obligatory grumbling over the songs that broke through the static on relentless, agonizing loops, a ghostly thread to the world before all of this. Just enough to play whatever game they were trapped in and survive one more day, one more week, one more month.

Nothing was permanent here, and the last thing she wanted was to become entangled in their drama and end up on the outside. Left to the ravaged Earth as the radiation poisoned her body and the toxic air squeezed the breath from her lungs. Put down like some dying animal, the cold barrel of a gun pressed to the back of her head. Her parents didn’t sacrifice every last cent they’d owned for her to just fuck up her chances because of some dumbass mistake.

It was easier to be alone. The library wasn’t empty that often, but when the occasion arose, she took it. There was a shred of peace here. The faint scent of smoke mingled with the clean aroma of linen and beeswax from the candles. The spines of the books crammed in the shelves flickered back at her as golden light wavered over them. She’d tucked herself into a corner of one of the black leather couches, her knees drawn up under her gown. It was some kind of eighteenth century-inspired monstrosity in a deep shade of violet; she thought it might have been prettier if there weren’t so many ruffles. Lace dripped from the satin sleeves at her elbows. Her wardrobe was full of it—lace and voluminous layers of fabric, pleated and gathered into elegant styles from another time. She gave them credit for committing to the aesthetic. After a year and some months, it was beginning to grow on her.

Her mind had stayed occupied with help from the Outpost’s library. She had discovered early on that the shelves held an extensive collection of essential literary works. She’d almost expected them to be nothing but a decoration, an illusion of comfort. She read them slowly, savoring each page, each word, not knowing how long they would need to last. Before the world went straight to hell she’d been a year shy of graduation. Hunkering down in a room full of books felt familiar, as though she was back in the library on her manicured university campus studying for finals. As if this was normal for just a little while. As if their sequestered world wasn’t the only fucking thing left.

She turned a page, partially aware that she didn’t remember what she’d read in the past few minutes. Her focus was gone, the words turning into incomprehensible smudges of ink across the paper. His footsteps matched her pulse until all she could hear was the blood rushing through her ears. And then suddenly he was there in the threshold—she caught him on the edge of her periphery, a silent shadow. She stared at the book in her lap but the words still didn’t make sense and the awareness of him prickled along her spine.

Langdon terrified and fascinated her in equal measure. He was an abyss—dark, cold, offering nothing but vague notions of an imagined paradise. A safe haven they would have to compete for. Who was he, exactly, to determine whether they were worthy? It made her uneasy to know that he was the deciding factor, that he could leave her here to whatever horrors awaited them outside without knowing why. What deemed a person useful to The Cooperative? Was what he’d said about this sanctuary true, or just a load of bullshit?

“Loneliness is a comfort to you, not a burden.” Langdon’s voice filled the room, smooth and rich as dark honey.

It hadn’t been a question, but of course he was well aware of the truth already. She had seen a couple of the other Purples walk away from their encounters with him shell-shocked and trembling, hysterical about how he’d rifled through the parts of them they wanted to keep hidden. Their private thoughts and shameful secrets were little more than pawns in a game to him. He appeared to relish pulling them apart and leaving them shattered. She’d never seen Coco so quiet, her eyes wide and red-rimmed before she excused herself to her room for the rest of the evening.

Truthfully, she didn’t know whether to be horrified or in awe of him.

The book snapped shut. “I’m used to it,” she said, looking up at last. He moved with a preternatural grace, hands clasped behind his back as he rounded the couch opposite in a few long strides. “Aside from the Armageddon raging outside, this is just…more of the same. More minimalist, maybe, but…I’m used to being on my own.”

She figured it would be best to strive for honesty. She just hoped that she could keep the fear out of her voice.

He seemed to draw the shadows to him, and she couldn’t tell whether there’d been the barest hint of a smirk somewhere on his lips. The light from the fireplace made the lines of his cheekbones sharper, the color of his eyes darker. But she knew they weren’t dark at all—they were the brightest, clearest shade of blue she’d ever seen. Like ice from the glaciers that no longer existed.

Langdon’s lithe form melted into the arm of the couch opposite in such a fluid motion that she couldn’t tear her gaze away. He perched on the edge, cat-like, and crossed one leg over the other. Almost instinctively, she pushed the book aside, unfurling swathes of fabric as she inched closer to the edge of the leather cushion.

“Not so impressed with the other residents, then, I take it.”

She lifted one shoulder. “A bunch of entitled assholes don’t really strike me as the best candidates to keep humanity from dying out. If they’re all that’s left…” she shook her head, “I don’t know. I don’t. Aside from whatever…visionaries you’ve got at The Cooperative, and maybe those kids, humanity’s kinda screwed.” She sighed. “It’s unfair, I guess, that we bought our survival. We didn’t really survive at all, we just had the means to escape. And these people…they don’t know how to do much for themselves. How can the world depend on them?”

“Without them, the outposts wouldn’t exist. Their money—your money—”

“My parents’ money,” she corrected.

“None of you would be here if it weren’t for their wealth.” Langdon’s head titled to the side, amused. “You don’t consider yourself one of them?”

“My parents could afford my place here, I can’t deny that,” she said. “But I…” She couldn’t look at his demanding gaze, instead averting her eyes to where his hands rested on top of his knee. Slender, well-manicured fingers drummed absently on his kneecap, the opaque rings and jewels glinting in the light. “I know a thing or two about hardship, Mr. Langdon. I remember what it was like before.”

She didn’t mean the end of the world. No, it had been long before that, and Langdon knew it—she could see it in his face, those micro expressions that were gone the moment they appeared.

He leaned forward slightly. The light changed his face in remarkable ways, she realized; where before there had been something almost imperceptibly sinister about his features, now the candlelight had softened the harsh lines of shadow.

“Of course. There was a time when your family had to worry about money. It disappeared faster than you could earn it,” he answered. She didn’t dare to ask how he knew. Then again, it wasn’t altogether unreasonable to expect that The Cooperative might’ve done ridiculously detailed background checks. “Does that make you envious of them? That they were born into wealth? That they’ve…enjoyed it longer?”

“No.”

His lips curved into a delicate smirk. “You sound so sure of yourself,” Langdon said. “Why?”

“You think I’m lying.”

“Oh, I’d know if you were, and believe me, I’d tell you,” Langdon replied, his tone light and almost teasing. “No…I want to know why. It’s a simple question.”

“It gives me an advantage,” she answered. “These people are used to their cushy lives and it made them complacent. I never knew mine long enough to get to that point. I don’t envy them for one second.”

“Ruthless.” His smirk broadened into a grin, and her stomach did a somersault in response. “I admire that.”

“Don’t know if I’d call it that,” she countered.

“I would.” He narrowed those clear blue eyes, a look so piercing that she shifted in her seat, rearranging her skirts to try and avoid it.

“It’s just surviving. Figuring out who you’re up against.”

“You see them as opponents?”

“Sometimes.” She gathered the book from where it had fallen between the cushions and stood, tucking it against her chest, very aware of his gaze following her every movement. “People don’t last long here with the way Mead and Venable run things. All we can do is try to keep up. I’ve stayed quiet…done everything I can to mitigate the risk of being a problem for them.”

“And you’d do anything to make sure you’re not abandoned. Not again.” The way he said it, drawing out every syllable, made a knot form in the pit of her stomach. How could he have known something so personal? “No matter what it might cost you. Even if the price was your soul.”

One of her eyebrows rose. “What do you mean?”

Langdon tipped his head to the side again, his strawberry blond hair falling across one shoulder. “On the contrary, I think you know exactly what I mean.” He pushed off the arm of the couch to stand, lacing his fingers together in front of him.

“You have that spark of callousness within you—I can see it. It’s an ugly thing, but it’s there, because it’s a part of you. It’s always been a part of you. And you’d do whatever you need to with it, if it meant your salvation. Even if it left blood on your hands.”

The lilting, pleasant timbre of his voice suddenly turned to ice, that air of superiority and omnipotent power returning to lace his words. A storm gathered in his eyes and beneath his skin, something malicious that she’d suspected lurked in his veins, down to every fiber of his being. She didn’t know what it was about him. Part of her didn’t want to know, really, but a stubborn thread of curiosity still lingered.

She found herself gaping at him, mouth open, a coherent reply lost to the void. “I…I don’t know.”

Langdon closed his eyes, just for a moment. “Yes, you do.”

When he opened them again, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, dropping his arms to his sides. She watched the mesmerizing fluidity of his hands, the rigid way he carried himself. The same sense of amusement came crawling back as if there hadn’t ever been something terribly malicious in him in the first place. As if her trampling over the corpses of Outpost 3’s elite to garner her place at The Sanctuary was a topic of casual conversation.

Langdon continued to speak with his hands. “You can deny that part of you if that’s what you want, but it will find you eventually. Once chaos has taken over, you really can’t be sure what you’d be capable of, can you?”

“…I guess not.”

She turned away from him, the admission uncoiling something dark within her, though she didn’t want to acknowledge it. Her fingertips dug into the cover of the book until her knuckles blanched. This time, it was her footsteps that ricocheted off the walls, the staccato notes far too loud in her ears.

She felt the weight of his gaze down her back, but when she glanced over her shoulder he was already gone.

@lastregasolitaria  @mylippo  @zeciex  @lvngdvns   @langdonsdemon   @your-king-cody-fern   @sojournmichael   @gabnelson98  @rainbowrosesjas  @antichristlangdxn  @keavysmithxoxo  @artistlunadrayne @codysfallenangels  @batgirlbride  @mileeyyowens  @dead-witch-boy  @boofy1998  @gentianea  @cryptid-coalition   @langdonsrapture  @kinlovecody @yuriohoe04  @electricurie @marvel-rpdr-and-ahs @gallxntdean  @langdonscurls  @jcshadowkiss-blog @frozenhuntress67  @sebastianshoe  @dixmond-taurus  @bookobssesed99 @langdonfern @holylangdon @ritualmichael @softlangdvn @thelangdoncooperative @weareallevilmotherfuckers

[lodestarslagoon]

AHS Apocalypse 8x03 Live Stream

SPOILERS UNDER CUT

Oh I thought the opening scene looked like the Dinah, Coco, Mallory descencum. Damn Michael...

Night Vision of the soul? Tell me about your powers!

Lol, spoiler, entitled, helpless. 

OMG COCO! Fire Mallory lol

“Something Dark”

DAMN CALL HER SHALLOW!

Og again? He knows Dinah?

SHE’S NOT POWERFUL ENOUGH?!

DINAH IS A WITCH!

MICHAEL CONFIRMED IT!

Ish

Dinah is in the sanctuary!

Evil soul?

Oh nvm, it’s Andre.

Unless Dinah is Andre’s son...?

God this is one opening scene of mind fuckery.

I want Dinah to use some powers

Mallory’s made for that world?

Mallory should want to leave.

Ew what an ugly close up to Michael.

Oh Mallory has a darkness..... Unfun.

MALLORY PUSHED HIM BACK

MALLORY IS A WITCH!

OMG MALLORY PYROKINESISED MICHAEL!

That’s right Mallory! Call his ass right back out!!!!

OMG MY THEORY THAT DINAH MALLORY AND COCO R WITCHES ARE RIGHT!!!

THEY DID DESCECUM WHEN THE OTHER 3 WALK IN!

BEST OPENING SCENE IN AHS HISTORY!!!

I swear the opening theme has been changing scenes every week.

ITS COMMERCIALS AND I AM SCREAMING IN EXCITMENT STILL THAT MALLORY, BILLIE LOURD, AND DINAH, SAME NAME AS BLACK CANARY, ARE WITCHES!!!

I still wonder if Coco’s a witch based on set pics Ryan Murphy released.

I am so excited to find out how Dinah knows Michael.

Adina Porter came out and said the scripts made her mind twist and turn, and well I hope it’s true cause it’ll be interesting to see a strong black witch since Angela Basset is too busy with 911 to come back as Marie.

Omg Michael’s doing a spell, ritual.

I wonder if it’s Tate father of devil father.

OHHHH It’s a scrying!!!

He thought he destroyed them all?

Michael did the witches?!

HE DESTROYED WHO? THE WITCHES?!

I cant with this fucking shit. Omg Witches need to ocme and take hsi ass back.

Boiling blood is actually kind of a cool effect.

Am I the only one whos still scare dof Michael’s demon face that happened earlier?

Oh yay the snakes are still around.

Ave Satanis... “Awaken Satan” right?

Kathy Bate’s voice is so distinct.

Her own self made costume is adorable.

The tricker treatgiver is a famous actress I remember her from places.

Wasn’t Kathy Bates in Rosemary’s baby?

Go Young Kathy Bates! Slap him.

Oh shit, she’s a good fighter!

Oh she’s an agent. This makes sense.

Can we have Kathy Bates in Spy 2? 

Can someone inform Melissa McCarthy and 50 Cent Piece to get Kathy in on this?

Oh everything happened on Halloween in Kathy Bates’ life. Nice.

Okay as nice as robot Kathy Bates’ life story is, can we get back to the witches?

I still swear Mallory and Coco are connected because they’re witchy powers keep them together.

I am so validated by this knowledge they were witches.

Awww Venable showing support for Kathy Bates is actually touching.

Omg Venable being so adamant on Michael is very interesting.

“That’s Outrageous”

“If you die here, Justice dies here” Really? you’re the sadists here!

“Kill everyone!” Jeez Kathy, these methods are nice.

“ You’re mean and self invovled enough to survive anything, and I’m a robot”

Oh is this guy the Coco husband who screams “You bitch?”

Someone saw a leaked pic that he appears again I think.

I was a finalist on top chef omg hahahhaa

Omg, he is very good “tracking” her for a year.

No one sees the figure approaching behind him?

I wonder where this guy got the gun.

Wait I guess we know officially that the apocalypse did actually happen.

How come these people can breath fine without pain like the people Michael claims he saw.

mother with kids^

OMG ANOTHER WITCH BREACH?!

STEP FORTH WITCHES PLEASE!!!!!

MADISON I INVOKE THEE!!!

They teleported in already I bet.

Ugh.... Why can’t we just reveal the witches already.

Anyone have any guesses where Michael did the ritual? I am very curious? How do people not notice things that happen in this place?

Apples... cause they’re fucking for Adam and Eve aka UCLA and Jail Girl

lol a nurtition blog!

Oh Venable happy enough to try the red delicious.

Vine providence? Wtf Kathy Bates....

Before they die? Don’t you just kill them anyways?

“Not a bad apple in the bunch?” Is that symbolism for they all deserve to go to the sancutary?

WHERE ARE THE WITCHES?

I could honestly care less about Coco’s husbando bf guy.

How can he breath the air and not the guy in the mask?

This Nuclear fallout is making less and less sense to me.

Less sense than where are the witches of all things.

I ownder how Coco will react ot seeing him.

MALLORY STARE AT THE FIRE AND INVOKE THINGS PLEASE!

Oh another Gray got a speaking line.

God I have a lot of thoughts tonight.

Celebration and Comradery?

Wait the only saved Asian is a Gray....

Victorian Masquerade Ball.... @holypancakes is about to blow it!

What are they going to be able to make in this bunker.

Omg Coco, and Gay Evan Peters destroying Mallory is so relatable and sad.

Omg Stew!!! I love how they love Stew.

“I don’t wanna rub it in for the ones who don’t get picked” lol

“No offense Mallory” BAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAJA

These 1v1′s is hilarious.

OMG WHY THE FACE AGAIN :’(

Oh Mallory’s coming out of the broom closet!

Oh they’re laughing at him.

NO MALLORY ITS NOT THE BLAST!

OMG DARK PHEONIX! Shit thats so meta, with Quicksilver right there lol.

Coco commanding shit. 

I know she probably won’t but pleas Mallory do something.

This is such a Cinderella point.

Shit Coco is kind of getting a little far right now.

She totally had a point with Evie’s room.

OH IS THIS WHEN MADISON APPEARS IN THE BEAK MASK TO DINAH OR WHOEVER IN THE TRAILER?!

I know it’s not confirmed but we all know that mask was the same Madison wore for to scare Zoe in Bitchcraft.

LOL “Sweet horses”

Lol Mallory has to introduce her.

LOL THAT BOO

FX WTF DON’T U FUCK UP THE PICTURE AUDIO NOW!

Oh shit Venable knows the Ghosts situation.

I mean if it’s been 18 months, this has happened before.

I wonder how many monologes Sarah Paulson has this season.

WHAT MUSIC WILL PLAY I WONDER?!

No idea what this symbolizes honestly.

Oh UCLA’s wire crown is actually creative.

OMG THE FOG IS ROLLING IN WHICH MEANS THE WITCHES CAN COME!

Madison is not that tall, so idk who that could be.

Mr. Langdon doesn’t seem that tall either.

Is Coco dying? Damn....

I still pray it’s Madison, but still.

Wait Coco got into Harvard?

I hope it’s like by real merit. Not money.

BITCH YOU WERE TRYING TO BE AN INFLUENCER U NEVER MADE IT!

Analingus omg Coco.

Coco’s about to die sigh.

Coco can you not....

Short tongue and sensitive gag reflex. sigh this show.

Oh shit Brock I forgot he was around lol.

HOW DARE SHE INVOKE SUSHI!

Brock doesn’t look happy.

NOOOOOO COCO!!!!!!!!

SOMEONE VITAL VITALUS HER!

WHERE IS MISTY?!

BRING COCO BACK!!!!

COCO WAS SEEN IN OTHER SET PARTS AND SHIT!

Lol festivities and your gun. Bitch, has no clue who Michael is.

So many snakes.

I wonder how bored they must be that this si so thirlling for them.

I wonder how many times these peopl have bobbed for apples. I think it’s harder than this I think.

I also think it’s weird UCLA and Jail Girl are so calm right now about all this. They were about to be murdered last week. I don’t knwo how I could deal with these people.

I wonder how bad this mass suicide will end up.

Oh Gay Evan Peters sis howing signs.

Mallory might be immune?

Oh nvm she threw up.

Oh UVLA had blood on Jail Girl ew.

Gay Evan Peters looked so fake.

I wonder what it’s like to act this scene.

Okay so where is Misty to bring everyone back?

Literally we know Misty is in the first 5 episodes since the trailer promos only filmed the first 5 episodes at time they made it. I thought she’d be in later.

Misty being team Michael would make so much sense based on what we just saw. 

“Oh Venable you think you killed everyone? HA! Watch this,” Michael shows Misty who dances around and brings everyone back.

“And here’s the trick” hahahaha

I’m still waiting for Michael to bring Misty in.

I wonder when they’re going to realize Coco’s like head stabbed.

Oh shit he’s just open about the laptop being there lol.

I think this is funny, let alone Michael.

Oh shit, she passed the test!

I wouldn’t do that either.

NO SCARY FACT IS COMING BACK :’(

Oh wait she’s on his side duh #HailSatan

OH SHIT!!! CONCILUM!!!!

BE THAT WARLOCK MICHAEL!

I know why she did it.

Michael’s monologe right now is so confusing.

Not what he’s saying, but how interested I am.

Where is the witches?

Someone from his childhood?!

The Beautiful Boy? I’m still confused by this.

Okay so this song is so calming over these corpses and bile.

Brock is around doing what right now?

OH SONG CHANGE?!

THERE IS A HOUSE IN NEW ORLEANS?!

Oh no, it might not be?

OMG THEY’RE COMING!

THEY’RE HERE!

OMG I BET THEY ARE!!!!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

THEY’RE IN MY EYE SIGHT!

I SEE THEM!!!

I’M DYING!!!!

I AM CANARY CRYING ALL OVER THE PLACE RIGHT NOW!!!!

OMG MY EYES MY HEART MY LIFE!

I CAN’T HANDLE THIS OMG YASSS BRING THEM BACK!

BRING BACK MALLORY AND CO!

FIND OUR SISTERS YES!!!!!!

I KNEW IT COCO IS A SISTER!

YASSSS RESURGENCE! 

Madison looked happy to see them back.

OMG YES MADISON KNEW! SHE GOT THE LAST LINE!

AHHHHH SHE GOT THE LAST LINE!!!!

i am so happy!!!!!

[survivorathena-allstars]

Episode #10: “Can You Hear My Eyes Rolling Cause They Are” ~ Owen

I LIVED!!!! Which is good, I'm so glad to be on the side with numbers, that was a good blindside, I'm trying not to feel too bad for Emily since she WROTE MY NAME DOWN. also i wonder who the other vote for me was, i bet it was Cameron so he can play both sides. *EYES* I'm so happy to still be here time to win this challenge! ________________________________________________________________ Also I don't get why Lily is so salty she tried to BLINDSIDE ME

i didn't switch to lily because im mostly a dumbass. also i didn't want her to be bitter but five minutes later that decision turned out to mean nothing. emily voted ruthie with me, i'm not sure who the third vote was??? could they please stand up im tired of living in the dark. i think lily voted for me (also i love getting votes in my last three tribals it's the only thing that makes me feel relevant). anyways what matters is that i'm here, but i don't know how much longer i'll last at this rate. to be fair i was honest with these ppl about who i was voting for so like...but it's also like if i had better connections i would've known but oh well!! new round new me am i right haha :,)

If you think I cried a lot in Themyscira, you should see me now. I'm a pro at this point

LILY'S GONE LILY'S NOT ON JURY CHARLOTTE IS ON JURY I M W I N N I N 

Ok I know I'm not supposed to be here and "the tribe has spoken" but hold up. Did Lildemort really just quit? Sis put all that Coco Montrese-level work in round after round to get me out JUST to quit when the going got tough? And now CHARLOTTE is getting whisked away to fill the jury spot?

I can't even. Yes the evil is defeated and good for Charlotte BUT BITCH. Are... are y'all saying... that this is protocol? So like if anything else goes haywire or someone else quits, IM GOING INTO JURY??? I suddenly don't remember unstanning Athena and my PTSD from these seasons is in check again. Athena jury is my true calling and if this is All-Stars and y'all want the most lit jury.... please please please let me fuck it up. I know I know nothing's official and yes this is Charlotte's moment but like

Ya know you could always do a twistos twist. We don't have to do the same thing twice, someone else quitting and a prejuror coming back. Athena trailblazes and I have been a stellar guinea pig my whole life. Ok so placement! We could be poetic: since I got blindsided 5-2 again, I could be Juror #3 again. OR we could wait a bit and I walk in like 5th or 6th, give my enemies a chance to get there ya know and then I wreak havoc. OR we can be super messy, put me in last, and then everyone will be on the floor deceased. I'm very open minded and down to negotiate. Aaaaalll I'm saying is: if y'all want the drama and the ratings, you know who to call

Whew it's taking a whole lot out of me to put effort into my social game. Like I'm really drained. Like so incredibly drained. Talking to these people really hurts honestly. It really does. And for some reason, I'm the least upset with Will and Cameron. Cameron specifically, I'm fine with quite honestly. He was the only one that had the courage to message me last night and... it just made me feel better. No one else messaged me. Ali did but I think it was because Cameron messaged him telling him to message me. I feel most betrayed by Ali honestly mkdsmfkacsd I'm really trying to decide my next course of action

Emily telling me she's the least mad at me and Cameron after the Lily vote is incredible, seeing as we were two of the people pushing the hardest for her to go. Remember that social game everyone said I didn't have in Azores? Here it is now, because I have Emily, Owen, Zach, and Ruthie all spilling tea and taking the fall for me while the rest of the alliance takes the heat. If anything, my ass is safe for at least one more round because Dana put a huge target on herself - not saying that I would EVER want Dana to go, because I feel like we can protect her if she's the target. There are whispers that Duncan's gonna be the next target for his flip-flopping behavior, and Emily might even want to target Owen next. If we let Emily think she has some power after last night, we could steer her right into getting idoled out which would be evil but also incredible. If Owen/Dana/Ali are her public enemies number 1, 2, and 3 right now then... that's perfect for me. A path is opening up towards the end for me, and I really, really love it. Some people don't learn from their mistakes, but it's 2018 and this year is about growth and personal development - I know why I lost Azores, and now I can see how I can win All Stars. ________________________________________________________________ I'm starting to get worried though because I'm realizing I don't think I can beat Cameron in a F3...and I don't like the thought of having to vote him out and I don't think I could beat him in a F4 tiebreaker either...So the next few tribals need to look like this: F11/F10 boot is Duncan/Owen, F9 boot is Emily, F8-F6 is some combination of Ashvika/Ruthie/Zach, then F5 boot is Cameron and F4 would be unanimously Kevin. Like I said, we can let Emily dictate the F11/F10 targets and I think she'd go for those two first, then we can let her think it's one of us going and play an idol to take her out at F9 (and Cameron/myself wouldn't get the heat). Then we have a clear majority at F8 of our 4 plus really...any of the others who wanna keep going. Then at F6, any idols will have to be played so I just need to make sure I don't become a robbed legend. And then F5 will either be 4-1 or 3-2 and Cameron has to go - and I hate hate HATE that but I'm so worried about me being safe at F4 hinging on winning final immunity. But we'll see I guess. If I'm gonna go to the F3 with my alliance, it needs to be with Ali and Dana - because people think they're erratic and floaters. This is how it's gonna have to be though and I can see a path to the end...but it's not an easy path and people are gonna be Mad with a big fat capital M.

OH HOHO, SO DUNCAN WANTS ME OUT HUH? Well honey, I've got some news for you. One, I have an idol. Two, I have friends in high places. And three? You are not so powerful. I am loved and I am winning this game, and taking the days played record right from your hands. I love you, but you are not taking me down today. 

Whew I've been a roller coaster of emotions for the past twenty four hours and I've finally calmed down and I feel a lot more woke now. Here are some comments on everyone still in the game. ALI: Ali is a hard one because both Duncan and I feel very betrayed by him. Ali didn't fill Duncan in on the Lily vote, it was someone else that told Duncan. And I thought Duncan and Ali were like spearheading the Duncan vote. And I also told Owen about Ali's idol, but I'll get to that part. I don't think I trust Ali anymore unless he can prove to me otherwise. I've been having a very difficult time talking to him because I do feel incredibly betrayed. What I don't understand is why he thought that I had an idol or Lily had an idol? I didn't. I think he knew that. I told him so many times I just wanted to be informed of what was happening, and I thought a good, trustworthy ally of mine would tell me the truth. But he didn't. Not until 10:00. Which I think is very cowardly. I'm playing with a flock of cowards. ASHVIKA: Honestly I'm really pissed she's in such an... untouchable position? In my eyes, she's been super inactive? Maybe that's wrong, but I've not talked to her much at all. I believe she's in an untouchable position because of her allies. She's got Will, Dana, Zach, Duncan... like people on all sides? And that makes me mad? She's going to make it far and it makes me upset. DANA: Queen of unknowingly telling me that Lily was going last night <3 LOL Dana didn't know that I didn't know Lily was leaving and was straight up with me so that's real cute. I know she's close with Zach and has talked about wanting to work with Zach and I but I don't even know where Zach and I stand... I'll comment on that later in Zach's portion of this confession. I also feel like Dana is in a good position and it's >:( PUT ME IN UR POSITIONS U FUCKS DUNCAN: Duncan I thought was a lot more in on the vote than he actually was, which makes me feel bad about exposing his idol to Owen, but I was just SO MAD!!! I think Duncan is feeling the same way about Ali as I am. He's really hurt that Ali would like... go behind the backs of his close allies like this? And, honestly? It's not smart either? We are the only ones (to my knowledge) that know about Ali's idol? Like? Why would Ali do something like this lmao it's just stupid quite honestly. I'm going to have to figure out what to do moving forward but... I trust Duncan and Ali a whole lot. KEVIN: Tbh king of voting in the minority. I really don't have many feelings on Kevin but I honestly feel bad and I'm really confused why he was left out of the vote last round??? Like omg??? Poor Kevin I feel bad. King of being my secret santa. Cameron: After all of this has happened, I trust Cameron the most. I feel like he is being the most genuine with me and the most sincere about wanting to work with me. I think he's going to be someone I want to work with long term. I'm trying to be as adaptable as possible. And I think Cameron will help me out? Maybe? I just don't want to die this round holy fuck. I trust Cameron a good amount and I'm willing to do whatever he wants me to do this round to keep myself alive. And if this is my last round, it's my last round. I still have lots of friends in the game that'd I'd be happy winning. I'm just really concerned idk OUP AND I'VE JUST BEEN INFORMED BY DUNCAN WHO WAS INFORMED BY ALI THAT Cameron TOLD ALI HE HAS AN IDOL!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK OWEN: Okay. Owen's,,,,, been found the heck out. HE HAS BEEN FOUND THE HECK OUT. Like, y'all. Owen is playing me so hard. And I HAVE BEEN AWARE OF IT TOO. I'VE SEEN IT HAPPENING. AND I'M LIKE. OH THAT'S SKETCHY. HAVE I DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT? NO! Owen told me he was campaigning hard for Kevin to go and from what I was told by Cameron, Owen was actually campaigning for Lily to go, but saying he didn't want to actually vote for Lily because he wanted to stay in my good graces! And he did the same thing with the Madison vote but voting for Jack and not picking a fucking side! Oh god. I felt so alone last night and when Owen called me, I just let it out. I exposed some tea I probably shouldn't have. But I think I know how I can deal with it? I don't know. I think Duncan is a very likely target this round. If he doesn't use his hideout, he needs to use his idol. Like. He's very likely to go home. And we can idol out a big person if we use it. Whether it's Will, Dana, Ashvika, or Ali I don't care. I want one of them gone. And I think we can do it. I think we need to keep Owen out of that plan though? I don't know what's going to go on. I want Owen gone but I know Duncan doesn't so like... this is going to be a big mess lol RUTHIE: God who the fuck knows honestly. I don't. WILL: I like Will but he's got his own little... posse. And they scare me. Him, Cameron, Ashvika, Dana, Zach, and Ali. And probably Owen, honestly. They fucking......... I won't let them run this game no sir-ee! I don't know how to fix it but fksdfjasd. Also I thought he had an idol but no, Cameron has that. So. Anyways I don't have much to say about Will. I'm fine with him. Don't want him to vote me out. ZACH: I love Zach so so so much and he's a great person but like I have no clue where we stand in the game anymore. Actually i just messaged him a long thing and I think we're all okay. Also I'm gonna submit his and all of my Zach talk is just gonna be the same uWu I love zach so much stuff so like I'm just gonna send it y'all know I love zach already no need to say it again bye

I AM SO PROUD OF WILL!! Now to figure out what to do.  I really don't want Emily to go and it's simply because she's just too gosh darn likable.  I'm going to try to figure something out with Cameron and Will though and right now they are my saviors, I'll do whatever they want to do but I also really don't want Owen or Zach to leave either. 

Honestly I don't know what to think. I feel bad because I partially betrayed Emily by knowing Lily was leaving but lying, or failing to tell! Wooh love omission! But I think i've talked with her and i'm sure it's not super fixed but it's a little better. I now have an alliance with Duncan and Ashvika, then my pal Dana. How loyal am I? Well... not a lot. I don't want them to release this information and then by default, i'm the one being voted out because of "betrayal" or whatnot. But i'm not sure who i'd love to see. I guess my ideal people are Kevin, and a little Ruthie/Ali. I like everyone genuinely and i'm upset by Lily's reaction and just overall execution, but I feel like it was a fine move and despite it not being mine, I think Cameron came off as very aggressive and negative and that's going to bite him in the ass I think. But I made jury so HALLELUJAH!! 3/3 in Jury! And also - it's day 100 for me!! AHH!!!

In reference to last round? "That vote was messy so I’m going to follow suit. It’s open season on everyone’s asses and I’m pissed off and ready to shoot" Thats how i felt after i read what happened and everyone almost omitted me from the vote. According to Will i was left out because i mentioned to emily earlier on in the day that people were throwing lily's name out there. Also i told people i wanted to do lily next round, so people thought i was not going to budge on it and did not bother telling me the vote. What disappointed me though was Ali not coming through and telling me. He really let me down and because of that he's pushed me away. I told him we're fine and that im not mad any more. I mean its true, I'm not mad anymore, IM PISSED!!! So if he can't trust me i can't trust him. I made a finals deal with Ashvika tonight, and told her about ali's idol and Cameron's idol. If loose lips are gonna sink ships i don't want to be aboard the ship, i want to be behind the canon gunning it down. Who says there aren't any pirates on survivor? lol But anyways ashvika and i also made a foursome alliance with zach and dana since we feel like they're a tight duo who are dependable. I really so like the group as people and they're people i've never played with before which makes it even more exciting! Do i want to go to the end with them? Absolutely not! but its a cute group to get through the next couple rounds. I do intend on going to the end with ashvika though. the only person thats been 100 with me the whole game. I do believe she's with me but i need to make sure my other bonds are strong because im not giving anyone the power to obliterate my game. i've learned and I'm finished making mistakes 

I always align with men and I hate myself

________________________________________________________________ This FINALLY uploaded. It's from the morning after we merged.

Hi moms I don't know how i'm voting tonight, which tbh, shouldn't be a shocker to yall. I'm a mess, but I haven't heard my name. Tbh send me on vacation to visit my girl Charlotte. But ideally i'd like to be 4th-5th juror because then i'll be more informed about the game so like let me meme around a little bit longer. Also this is my mood for today On 1/11/18, at 12:16 PM, Dana Barry wrote: > the girl im talking to: what are you up to today? > me: not being stressed out by tribal council in an org

This is really just my mood (see below) for this round because it's so clear Emily's trying to scramble by not really scrambling and if one of my alliance gets idoled out tonight i'm setting fire to the rain. Sorry that the game isn't going your way queen! I'm the Sarah Lacina and Brad Culpepper to your Sandra, Aubry, and Cirie and this is Game Changers xoxo Emily, 2:21 PM im not used to not knowing whats going on in a game afjsfkjasdklfas

Okay so I made a video confession and I’ll upload soon but... I’m excited about my new position in the game. I’m bouncing back, I think? I’ve been able to reestablish my relationships with Cameron, Will, Zach, and Ali and I am working on building on with Dana. I’m trying to get on the good side of Cameron & Co.™️ And I think it’s going well? Ali is talking to me and is very uneasy about Duncan. Rightfully so because Duncan is mad at Ali. I also am playing off the exposing-Ali-and-Duncan’s-idols-to-Owen thing off like Duncan was the one that could possibly leak it to Owen, since they’re close. And I think Ali believes it. Unless he already knows I told Owen and like? Idk. But Ali has also told me that he feels weird about Duncan because I am the one that he screwed over, and yet Duncan is the one upset. I’m not upset anymore and I’m moving on. Duncan is not happy. I am just sitting back, spreading subtle information, and getting people to target each other while I cuddle with my cats from afar. I’ve told Will and Cameron both that I am just here to take orders at this point. I don’t want to get in the way of anything. And I have opinions, I just want let them out until someone says them for me first. I’m trying to be agreeable, valuable, and calm this round. OTT Emily is no more. CP Emily is back, okay? She’s here to stay!!! I’m calm. I’m cool. I’m collected. I can do this.

I told people what I'm thinking today, which means pasta la vista 2 me. Idk i'm not even trying to lie to people but honestly i'm one of those people who is like so manipulative that sometimes I lie to myself and then get confused about what the truth is so wiggy. Does that happen to other people? I'm getting more crackedt by the minute. Who knows how i'm voting. I just want to vote Emily because she's being a problem and messy quen who sent my pms to everyone in the game to exploit me 4 being dumb and gullible. A funky strategy, like exploit me all u want but u probably arent winnin. Also weirdly Duncan thinks votes tonight are going to be on Emily anyway, so like now I can maybe make that happen. I'm a sneaky weasel with the power of a 50% functional brain behind me, aka a WINNER. Earlier today tho I was voting out Duncan though so blegh and also nobody wants to talk to me, which is good leave me alone. I just dont feel like getting voted out yet, sort of, and the other part of me is like bye world i could use some time in solitary confinement. Is that a mood for everyone or just me? I just sent the tribe chat a picture of Owen as a goat idk i like to laugh. This is a rant and she doesn't make sense can someone get jesus to talk to me because she is ignoring my pms too. Also I just signed out of skype so I can calm down and give myself a break from being as upsetting. Ok i'm going to stop writing now gn. 

https://youtu.be/5PdXIHGvMpk me talking 2 ppl pretending it's cool they left me in the dark anyways i love getting votes 3 tribals in a row. and APPARENTLY according to Cameron i might be receiving votes tonight. exciting! if you're gonna vote for me do it right and take me out you cowards all you're doing is making my skin break out. the alternate options are all from atalaia: ruthie and emily!!! whew!!

https://tmblrsurvivorextra.tumblr.com/post/169591129951

“Okay I did eenie meenie minie moe and it landed on ruthie so that’s how I’ll be voting” 

I made myself laugh with that one. If they ain’t going to make a decision, you decide for them

I truly am channeling my inner Eliza Orlins by being targeted so often. Whew! So turns out Cameron's a snake because Duncan gave me the receipts (well not any receipts actually but I'm trusting his word). APPARENTLY Cameron only told me Emily as a fake target because he was intending to vote for me. Snakes are gonna snake snake snake snake snake. Duncan and others are telling me Ruthie. Im supposed to believe that the tide is turning towards Ruthie but people here have a habit of spewing lies. Duncan just told me to act clueless and stuff or whatever if people approach me about the vote. I don't need to try to act clueless, because I don't know shit!

You would think that, being immune, I would feel safe, comfortable, happy. No I feel none of the above and I want to scream. I love Cameron but for some reason he won't take a breath and do the easy vote like dude...It doesn't need to be another big blindside or another big move. I'm worried that he's getting a little too confident and feels like he's the one in charge of the alliance, which is not cute at all. I don't want to be mad at him but I'm definitely frustrated, annoyed. My patience? She's being tested. I feel like I need to take a backseat on this one and just let whatever happens happen, because I'm in a good enough place with people that I can pick up the pieces if something horrible happens tonight. Cameron's hardcore overplaying and it's not a good look for him or our alliance if things start to get messy though.

I’m putting a lot of blind trust into Cameron but he’s the only one lending me enough rope to hold on to. I’m so nervous but I’m trying to stay sane this vote. I was expecting my name to come up tonight, but I wasn’t expecting it to come from Duncan, which is who I’ve been told brought my name up. I’m not playing a winner’s game right now. I’m so nervous and I don’t know how to fix it.

I love Owen sending me this big paragraph at merge, then telling Duncan I should go from the start of merge and saying how easily playable I am. I love Duncan who I trusted and told _everything_ targetting me for truly no reason, when I actually did attempt to clue him in on the vote. He just wasn't online. He is channelling his bitterness at not being in the loop at me, which is totally unfair. I love Emily who I thought I could trust telling everything about my idol to Owen. I went to her so many times trying to stress how much I valued her. I was the first person to clue her into the vote, I'm just sad. Obviously its just on a game level and I'll find it in my hort to forgive them, but Im so betrayed. So betrayed

I mean like is it really that bad to want to make a vote go 3-3-3-2? Is that really that ugly?

HECK OFF DUNCAN LITERALLY. I JUST WANT HIM TO CHOKE. it looks like we might vote Kevin? maybe? or split the vote? idk? this is? awful? help? please?

Why are Duncan and Owen blowing spoke at me with the efficiency of a chimney? I know Owen wants me to spill info to him and Duncan wants me out so what's up sjsjdkdkd God its so refreshing knowing that everyone is trying to play me hard

Will won immunity, I knew I wasnt gonna have the time to win this one so that's okay it does make me a bit worried but I dont think that like...it was necessarily beneficial to win it again so soon.

The main thing I'm grapplin with is that information spreads like fire! Emily tells me Ali and Duncan have idols, and that Duncan has a power that can remove him from the game for a round too. Huge yikes. So instantly that's on my mind. I knew Cameron knows about Ali's. I feel like maybe I've typed this before... But either way today I got on call with Will and basically gave him all of this information. And I've been forming a plan to get Duncan to dump an idol, if I tell him that I've been hearing his name! But Will suggested we just leak that Duncan might go to Ashvika.... Which gets messy for me bc if Duncan hears from Ashvika and not me, he won't trust me anymore. but then like...if I tell him I'm hearing his name and then.....nobody votes for him? he'll know why. BUT THEN ALSO LOL Cameron MESSAGES WILL ABOUT DUNCAN'S IDOL AND SUGGESTS DOING SOMETHING TO GET RID OF IT WHILE I'M STILL ON CALL WITH WILL. God this stresses me OUT. If Duncan doesn't waste his idol though it isn't the end of the world, because I do have a possibility of working with him. I just don't want him to idol Kevin. Speaking of, as soon as this round started I knew I wanted Kevin out. That breaks a connection that Duncan and potentially Cameron have, and gives me another round to get closer with Ali, Ruthie, Emily maybe. The call of four seemed good with Kevin, so does Emily, and I told Ruthie about it. Duncan is once again targeting Ruthie instead of Kevin so that's another thing to deal with. GOD. So rn it'll prob be like 8-3 or 4-7 or something but idk..... I want to believe Dana/Will/Cameron won't turn on me, but I can't tell myself I won't turn on them eventually idk. I have been talking to Ali and I think maybe I can sit at the end with him and Ruthie that would be SO GOOD lol. Or with Duncan maybe at the end. But Will, Dana, and Cameron are big risks. I just don't want to fuck them over....ugh. They're prob gonna wanna take me out. This is me 24/7. But I still love all of them rn too. Wow this game is F U N. Idk what I'm gonna do in general or tonight or with Duncan but I'm sure it'll be fun at some point.

I'm so confused by Duncan. I called him at the swap and told him EVERYTHING. I poured my heart and soul out to him. I said I trusted him all the way and I meant it. Now when he doesn't get clued in on a vote (which is his fault for not messaging me back) he is throwing the baby out with the bath water and just wants me out? Like he said this big thing about how it "hurt him when his number one left him out" which I didn't do, but that's so hypocritical when he now wants me out. I'm trying to not be too like too bitter because I love Duncan but come on.

Why aren’t there manipulatable straight boys in this game. This is unfair. Who am I supposed to flirt with and get them to take me to the end???? What the fuck

can u hear my eyes rolling cause they are

aliI'm about to be idoled out may I rest in peace

[1/11/18, 9:35:17 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): if I tell u to change the vote last minute do you PROMISE not to tell ANYONE [1/11/18, 9:35:24 PM] Emily: yes [1/11/18, 9:35:33 PM] Emily: give me enough time to make my parchment [1/11/18, 9:35:43 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): How much time is that? 5? ten? [1/11/18, 9:35:46 PM] Emily: please don’t have me throw my vote tho [1/11/18, 9:35:49 PM] Emily: ten? [1/11/18, 9:35:53 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): Ok cool [1/11/18, 9:35:58 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): i won’t have you throw your vote I just [1/11/18, 9:36:05 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): I don’t want someone to find out [1/11/18, 9:36:06 PM] Emily: okay [1/11/18, 9:36:11 PM] Emily: I won’t my lips are sealed [1/11/18, 9:36:20 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): this is me sneakily trying to keep u in the loop [1/11/18, 9:38:25 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): Some ppl just don’t trust you and I want u to know I trust you but idk if its changing yet [1/11/18, 9:38:42 PM] Emily: will this show them im trustworthy? [1/11/18, 9:38:46 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): i think so [1/11/18, 9:38:50 PM] Emily: okay [1/11/18, 9:39:07 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): I love you just pls dont tell ANYONE [1/11/18, 9:39:15 PM] Emily: im not telling anyone [1/11/18, 9:47:21 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): You PROMISE you vote how I say [1/11/18, 9:47:27 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): and you don’t tell ANYONE [1/11/18, 9:47:31 PM] Emily: yes [1/11/18, 9:47:42 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): my allies don’t want me to tell u bc they think you’ll tell owen so its imperitive you don’t okay [1/11/18, 9:47:50 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): im putting my life on the line with you [1/11/18, 9:47:51 PM] Emily: okay [1/11/18, 9:47:56 PM] Emily: i won’t Cameron [1/11/18, 9:48:13 PM] Emily: am i voting owen? [1/11/18, 9:48:29 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): no [1/11/18, 9:48:30 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): You’re not [1/11/18, 9:48:45 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): You’re voting for duncan unless you want to keep it on Kevin in case duncan plays his idol [1/11/18, 9:48:47 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): its up to you [1/11/18, 9:49:23 PM] Emily: okay ill vote duncan [1/11/18, 9:49:42 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): okay just PLEASE don’t tell anyone I told you to vote duncan [1/11/18, 9:49:47 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): IM BEGGING [1/11/18, 9:49:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): IT WILL GET ME MRUDERED HBEFJNDMS [1/11/18, 9:50:25 PM] Emily: i voted [1/11/18, 9:50:38 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): pls dont fuck me over emiyl [1/11/18, 9:50:45 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): This is me proving that I trust you and I want to work with you [1/11/18, 9:50:56 PM] Emily: am i supposed to pretend i dont know after the vote is over? [1/11/18, 9:52:27 PM] Emily: thank you so much for clueing me in Cameron i really appreciate it [1/11/18, 9:52:49 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): I love you [1/11/18, 9:52:59 PM] Emily: i love you too [1/11/18, 9:53:40 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): And yes pls pretend This is my reasoning for voting for Duncan. I'm doing what it's taking to keep me in the game. I'm putting my trust in Cameron and I'm not sure if I'm making the smartest decision or not, but I'm doing it.

This was way too chaotic and shows that our four is way less stable than I thought we were. Like this could have been so easy but no everyone had to fREAK THE FUCK OUT like I'm so sorry and I'm so gonna regret saying this in a confessional but I legitimately don't care if Cameron Ali Dana whoever think they're the target of an idol. It does not matter who the target is. We needed to put a vote on Kevin if we were gonna bring Zach in but there was too much fucking chaos in our mess of a 4 person alliance to understand that. Nobody listens to me and it's clear now, especially Cameron. He thinks he's running this game but he's running himself into the ground. I'm sorry but it's just too much.

If Duncan stands with an idol i'm self-evicting into the sun. 

Duncan becomes the 10th person voted out of Athena All Stars, and the 2nd member of our jury. You can see Duncan’s preseason interview here.